Diogenes of Oenoanda was an Epicurean Greek from the 2nd century AD who carved a summary of the philosophy of Epicurus onto a portico wall in the ancient city of Oenoanda in Lycia (modern day southwest Turkey). The surviving fragments of the wall, which originally extended about 80 meters, form an important source of Epicurean philosophy. The inscription sets out Epicurus' teachings on physics, epistemology, and ethics. It was originally about 25000 words along and filled 260 square meters of wall space. Diogenes built the wall so that all the citizens of his town could learn and be inspired from it. He said if there were one or two people that were lost he could educate them personally. But there are many. So he decided to put up the wall. According to Epicurus, in order to live wisely, it isn't enough to read a philosophical argument once or twice, we need constant reminders of it or we'll forget.
This blog is primarily for my own personal desire to accumulate, deliberate over and preserve critical thinking on philosophies and ideologies that have affected and continue to affect my thought life and beliefs. I welcome encouragement and criticism. An analyzed life is a wealthier, more fulfilled life.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

  Growing up on the Manitoba prairie in a small Mennonite farming community I believed in what I would consider to be a semi-fundamentalist religion. It was easy to see the fallacies of the abstemious Holdeman and Hutterite religions on the right and what seemed like the opposite extreme of the Canadian French Catholic with their “idol” worship and boozing Priests on the left. We had it all together. At least, mostly together. It was not without a few questions of course but that was ok. It’s normal and healthy to have some questions. “We see through a glass dimly, but we shall see face to face.” The Bible was the inerrant, inspired Word of God. If we had difficulties in life it was because God was testing us in order to grow our faith. Either that or we were simply not obeying the Word or just not interpreting the Word properly. The latter was less likely, of course.
  After a time of youthful rebellion consisting of hedonistic rituals of pot smoking, copious amounts of beer, listening to music inspired by Satan himself and many other worldly indulgences, at the age of 21 it was finally time to wake up and smell the leather bindings of the New International Version. I had the coveted dramatic conversion experience.
  Books, books and more books. I couldn’t get enough. It was time to take the religion I had been indoctrinated with and make it my own. Occasionally I even picked up a wrong book and an elder had to be called in for a little reprogramming. I was determined to get it right. I started daily devotions, joined a missions committee, joined Bible studies and led a youth group. Became best friends with the pastor, taught Sunday school, attended Promise Keepers, organized Sunday morning services at a minimal security prison and read more books. Life was great. I was right with God.
  The years went by quickly as I grew in my faith. But I still had questions. Only now there were more. If an all powerful God is the embodiment of omnipotent love and compassion, how is it possible for an eternal hell to exist?  If I have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit who exceeds all understanding, why can I not understand this? If we have all been given the gift of the Holy Spirit, why can we not agree?  Why do so many Christian leaders who seem to think they have all the answers sound so nonsensical? Why are so many Christians complacent in beliefs that can be so easily refuted with the very book they consider inerrant?  Why, while teaching love and compassion does the Church tend to produce a predominant character of intolerance to anything other than like-mindedness? Why do so many answered prayers seem entirely circumstantial or coincidental? If God does answer prayer, why are Christians no better off than people who don’t pray? Why are there so many discrepancies and seemingly outright mistakes in an inerrant Bible? Is God a God of logic and reason? Why are there so many different religions? Is religion inherently divisive? 
  One after another, pastors get kicked out for something they either did or didn’t say, or do. Friends leave and go to other churches because of something somebody said or did. Doubts start to creep in. Disgust turns to disillusion. Disillusion turns to anger and anger turns to depression.
   It was my turn to leave. But not just to leave the little Mennonite church I and my family attended for 20 years and go to some new big-box church where I could hide anonymously in the pews.  Not to join some little house church that uses an 85% of prayers answered like some kind of marketing ploy. Just leave. Leave the religion. Leave the Faith.
  Another dramatic conversion experience. Only this one is not quite as coveted as the first one. It is difficult to put into words, the rollercoaster of emotions and debilitating anxiety that can consume the mind when one abandons their faith. Dan Barker, in his book “Godless” wrote:
      
“It was like tearing my whole frame of reality to pieces, ripping to shreds the fabric                                                                                   of meaning and hope, betraying the values of existence. It hurt badly. It was like spitting on my mother, or like throwing one of my children out a window.” 
 
 Years of study, countless hours of fervent prayer and years of trying to determine how I ought to relate to this God and how this God relates to me, only to eventually come to the realization that I’m not convinced this God even exists. This, or any other god for that matter.

“Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence”    Carl Sagan

  It has now been a number of years since this last conversion experience and I have continued to enjoy reading many books. The difference now is that there are no “wrong” books anymore and the only re-programmer is I myself. I prefer it this way. Do I have more answers? No, I just have fewer questions, at least about faith and God. Amazingly, life didn’t go to hell in a hand basket. My only regret is that I should have left the faith and religion sooner. I like it better here. It’s a place where I can grasp the rationale. Instead of wasting precious thought life grappling with metaphysics, I am now contemplating tangibles. Tangibles like virtues or building and maintaining relationships or just simply enjoying the one and only precious life I have, here and now. Not some fabled destination after my body takes its last breath. I now believe that just as waterfalls, trees and flowers are completely natural and evolved phenomenon, so too are the virtues of love, compassion, honor, dignity etc. Not gifts from some elusive divinity. But like a flower growing in a garden, in order for them to flourish and abound, they need to be nurtured and guarded from those insidious weeds of irrational ideologies.  
 
“The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be
the hijacking of morality by religion.”   Arthur C Clarke

  I am more than aware of the many devout Christians who live their entire lives remaining faithful to their God, living happy and fulfilled lives. Many of these Christians have a far greater intellect than that of my own. I admire and respect them. I do not, however, admire their religion. There are progressive thinkers like John Shelby Spong who says “Christianity must change or die”. I believe it will, as it always has, continue to evolve. Unfortunately there are too many Christian leaders who would have it revert back to its archaic, asinine ideologies of the past. Will it die completely? I doubt it. At least, not for a long, long time to come. After all, there are still people who believe the world is flat. Intelligence does not ultimately determine what you believe, and what you believe will not determine your intelligence. It is not my intent to insult, intimidate or threaten anyone. What the world needs now is “love, sweet love”. But we cannot start with love alone. We need to rid ourselves of fear. In order to rid ourselves of fear we need understanding. In order to achieve understanding, we need education, critical thinking and rational dialogue. Let it begin.

Diogenes   

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